PART ONE
This is my journey of faith that led me to a personal revival. Its taken me a long time to journey out of darkness into light and I want to share this with you so that maybe you won’t take so long to get there. I realised that the answer had a lot to do with my thought life and this verse immediately comes to mind
“The entrance of your word brings light.” Psalm 119:130
I can’t emphasise enough how important the word of God is in helping us to renew or transform our minds. God wants to flood our minds with light, the glorious light of the gospel of Christ. Paul prayed in Ephesians chapter 1:18
“..that the light of God will illuminate the eyes of your imagination, flooding you with light, until you experience the full revelation of the hope of His calling - that is, the wealth of God’s glorious inheritances that He finds in us, His holy ones.” TPT
I went to a meeting awhile back where a preacher spoke of revivals that he had been involved in over the years. Some of them were in Churches and others in Cities. He spoke of how revival came and sadly, how revival went. There are some places that once were vibrant with spiritual life that are now dead.
I too have been to places that once had revival and now you would hardly know that God had visited that place in the past. The first place that comes to mind is Wales, that had an amazing revival in the early 20th century. I have visited the country often and wonder what happened, as there is now so much drunkenness, drug addiction and poverty,especially in Newport.
I also went to John Wesley’s house in central London and knelt where he used to pray in his bedroom for revival in England. This man was instrumental in changing the country into the ‘people of the book’ in the 1700s. Outside that house today you would never know the impact that he once had on England. If you asked someone in the street who John Wesley was they wouldn’t have a clue either.
I have been to Hong Kong where there was revival in the past. I read Jamie Buckingham's book called “Chasing the Dragon” and the move of God in the ‘Walled City,’ but today Hong Kong is taken up with secularism, commercialism and little regard for our God.
I have not personally seen a revival ‘yet,’ but can honestly say that I am experiencing my own personal revival after many years of searching and praying. It’s taken me a long time to understand what God was trying to show me but it didn’t need to be that way.
Revival means to have an improved condition, in strength and in fortune. Revival is God touching our hearts to be more aware of Him and falling in love with Jesus, these are all symptoms of revival.
I know that something great has happened in me, for I now get up every night to pray and just so enjoy sitting in His presence. I can’t sleep at times meditating on Him and His word. He visits me in the night. I have asked myself “How can I keep this too myself?” “What am I to do about this?” I feel like one of the lepers who stumbled into the Assyrian Camp in Elisha’s day and found untold riches from the enemies spoil, that had been left behind. “How can I not go back and share this spoil with the starving?” I heard the Lord say clearly that I must, “Teach others also.” I have since been trying to teach the Church all I have learnt and how God led me to this place.
I knew I was finally getting somewhere when I managed to keep my mind in check all day long. I was able to go from when I opened my eyes in the morning to when I went to sleep at night, keeping the Lord always before me as David did in Psalm16:6. He said that he ‘set’ the Lord always before him. I practised His presence all day like David had prayed for in Psalm 27:4.
“One thing I ask from the LORD, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.”
My spirit was taking more control of my mind and I made it do what I wanted it to do all day long. In the past I have drifted from a fervent devotion of the Lord to realising that I hadn’t talked to Him or thought of Him for ages. When I now consider where I have come from, it’s really a miracle. Forgive me if I share some of my early days as a Christian. For you need to realise where I have come from and the miracle that has taken place in my mind to appreciate what I’m saying.
From as early as I can remember, I had suffered from depression although I didn’t realise what was going on. My dad was a manic depressant, although I didn’t realise it back then. He hit the bottle to cheer himself up and never sought medical help as in those days that would have been classed as a weakness among men. His mother was chronically depressed later in life and spent some time in an institution, so I must have inherited some of this this weakness. I often remember asking myself “What is wrong with me?” While others were laughing, I was crying inside, and for no reason. I was quick to try alcohol even while I was at High School and later enjoyed marijuana thinking it was the best thing since bubble gum.
Many of my friends would not have realised my problem as I was always joking and drawing cartoons, but this was a front for the sadness in my soul. When you look at some of today's comedians, so many suffer from depression and some have even committed suicide. Their ‘over the top’ humour was a mask hiding their pain.
At one stage I even tried self-hypnotism to try and make myself happy but that didn’t work. I later experimented with more powerful drugs like LSD and thought this mind altering drug was the answer, not knowing the danger, but how deceived was I?
When I left New Zealand on a ship for Australia in 1971, I remember seeing this guy talking to imaginary people and soon found out that he had a bad trip on LSD. A voice inside me said that I will be like that too if I don’t stop what I’m doing. I shrugged it off and said that it wouldn’t happen to me. Little did I realise that this was the Lord trying to warn me.
While working in Kalgoorlie, Western Australia with a mineral exploration company, I tried LSD again with some friends. It was offered to me soaked in a piece of blotting paper. I heard that voice saying again not to take it. I compromised and only had half a piece. We then went out to the mine dumps and messed around for a while, but nothing seemed to be happening. I felt cheated and wished I had taken all of it, as it was expensive stuff. ‘Nek Minnit’ the trip hit me full on and it was bad, very bad and I was hallucinating big time. When we got into town everyone looked to me like they were out of the ‘Munster's’ or the ‘Adams family.’ It was scary. When I tried to cross the road it got wider and wider and I wasn’t sure if I should turn back or keep going. We went to a Pizza Shop, as we had the ‘munchies’ and when I put my hand into my pocket to get some money out it seemed to be like the rabbit hole in Alice in Wonderland and went on and on. I got tangled up in my handkerchief and was unable to tell what coin was what, so I threw it all on the counter. My friends were worried about me and took me home, but the hallucinations got worse. As I watched TV the presenter became me and then grew old before my eyes. I cried out, “I getting old, I’m getting old.” My friends put me in the bed room but that became a mad house to me and bats started coming out of the walls. I could see myself going mad and ending up in a mental home, so I cried out. I’m not sure if I was calling out to God or not - but He thought I did. I know that I mentioned my mother somewhere in there. Praise God He had mercy on me and suddenly it all stopped. I managed to get to sleep, but my head hurt.
The next day we had to fly out to some remote place near Laverton in the outback. We used to land with a light plane on salt lakes. While I was walking in the bush alone, I had this incredible sense that someone was watching over me. Someone who was so good and kind. He had His eye on me and He loved me very much but I didn’t know it was the Lord. My problems were by no means over though, for I had damaged myself mentally and so much fear and paranoia had entered into my heart.
Soon after this I left for South Africa where God set things up for me to get saved. I asked Jesus into my life and He forgave my sins. ‘Oh Happy Day.’ But my troubles were by no means over as I had real problems with my mind. The depression was still with me too and now I had a brain that wouldn’t do what I told it too. My paranoia was bad and I had this unfounded fear that the Chinese were taking over the world, so I boycotted the Chinese Restaurant near my Hotel. Lol.
Praise God He soon filled me with the Holy Spirit and I had the on-board teacher and guide as my friend. He helped me get on the right path for my mind to be eventually healed. The Church I went to was Pentecostal and encouraged me to pray a lot in tongues and read God’s word and this gave me peace of mind.
I didn’t know what to think or pray but the Spirit did and I believed that when I spoke in tongues I was praying the will of God. I started walking to work, praying in tongues as I went. Look at these verses.
“Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.” Romans 8:26-27
When the Spirit prays through us, He is praying a perfect prayer. We may not know what to pray, but the Spirit does, and speaking in tongues is a perfect prayer language. My mind may have had problems but the Spirit was by passing that and touching God.
“For he who speaks in a tongue does not speak to men but to God, for no one understands him; however, in the spirit he speaks mysteries. He who speaks in a tongue edifies himself, “ 1 Corinthians 14:2,4.
“Therefore let him who speaks in a tongue pray that he may interpret. For if I pray in a tongue, my spirit prays, but my understanding is unfruitful. What is the conclusion then? I will pray with the spirit, and I will also pray with the understanding. 1 Corinthians 14:13-15
Slowly my mind began to heal as I prayed in the Spirit according to God’s will and the Spirit had more control of my thinking. My mind was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I learned how to walk or should I say crawl by faith. We need to encourage the Spirit in our lives for He wants to lead us into all truth and out of the lies the enemy has planted.
“However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come.” John 16:13
Next week I will continue my journey from darkness into light. Check out some of my previous messages that you can download for free as a PDF file from my www.stonesoffire.online